Is courtesy a lost part of society?

[Dave]

I've been wondering about courtesy lately. I remember as a young child seeing two men slug each other in the A&P on Genesee St. in Utica. I was with my father. He broke up the two and they went their separate ways. As far as I know, neither called the police, their lawyer or psychotherapist. One of them learned not to shoot off his mouth quite so flippantly.

Maybe that's how courtesy began. You were responsible for what you said to a person, because if they didn't like your words, they might knock you down. Back in the day, no policeman would arrest either party, and for most people lawyers were for the rich or those charged with a serious crime. So people were careful how they spoke to each other.

You know, that made society civil. I wonder why people today are often discourteous to each other. Is it because they hide behind the pen or the keyboard? Is it because they can always defend themselves with an attorney?

Just thinking.

Dave
PS: I signed my post, even though it isn't necessary since you can easily see to the left who wrote it. I signed it because I did indeed write it and it helps me to remember I am responsible for what I write.

[fiona]

Dave: I don't think courtesy is a lost art, but I do think it is hiding. Although we no longer structure our days around the elaborate social rules of late Victorian, Edwardian or even early 20th century mores, courtesy is as important as ever. More important given the proliferation and acceptance into our lives of social netwoking tools, such as cell phones, computers, black berries, ect. It should suffice to say that these tools allow people to "hide behind a key board, a key pad, an answering machine, a blue tooth, a cell phone, ect." These tools have increased our social distance and decreased our accountabilty to each other, the exact opposite of what the designers of these wonderful machines intended. They have done this by allowing the user to remain ( so they believe) anyonamous through the use of a handle or avatar, especially on the internet. I agree with you, we are responsible for what we write and I believe that this new web site can be a bastion of civility - a 19th century model of good manners - if you will and if that is acceptable - if indeed there was such a thing. I for one look forward to having decent, trenchant discussions about writing, art, the creative process. This is not to say we will not disagree from time to time, or perhaps all the time, but I believe problems can be resolved in a civil manner, without hateful rhetoric, name calling, damming and what I call "discussion banging". A discussion is "banged", dumped or discarded, busted, when a person or group of people verbally gang up on a poster and hog the space with there own personal agenda and opinions, gradually becoming more and more verbose and verbal, perhaps even threatening, until the dissenter drops out of the discussion. I have seen this time and time again on other threads, forums and even news paper comment sections. It is a type of cyber gang behavior, all the more vehement because one may only know a poster by their avatar and not there name. Best of luck, Dave. I look forward to posting and wish you all the best on your new endeavor.

[fiona]

Yes, Dave, there are plenty of attorneys out there just waiting for there turn to 'squeeze blood from a stone" and there are just as many excellent attorneys who do volumes of excellent pro bono and community work and are serious practictioners of the law. Thank God for them.

[dicknaegele]

Well, here we are. I post with my actual name, and no avatar. I am here only to read for now, and to follow the stories that have moved from Clipper's Corner. This should be a great place for those of you that are more cultured and intellectual than the average to enjoy. I wish you success Dave, and look forward to reading the ongoing sagas here. Fiona, I love your writings, although we have disagreed on issues that I thought were not that serious, but obviously were in your eyes. Sorry about those differences. Enjoy your new home. I hope it is successful, and enriching to you all.

All I can offer as any sort of justification for my ill will toward others is a lot of stress in my life right now, and depression with Kathy's health issues. I am not the Clipper that Dave knows from the onset of the other forum. I am not happy with who I have become either. I have a negative attitude toward life in general lately. I am unhappy with our current administration, and the direction the country is going, and it is exacerbated by the worry about our healthcare system with Kathy being on Medicare and an upcoming serious surgery. I seem to be wound up like a cheap watch over the last few months, and don't seem able to make it better. I guess only time will heal those stresses and worries. In the mean time I will just live with it and try not to offend. I used to be a pretty good guy.

Sincerely yours,
Dick

[Dave]

Welcome, Dick. I think you'll be a valuable member of our MS Forum. And ... you're a writer! I know you undervalue your efforts, but I don't and I hope you post something in the Offerings corner of the Forum.

For those who want to sample some of Dick's efforts, click on the link below. I know he'll feel embarrassed as I point to his work, but he needn't and he shouldn't.
Dave

www.windsweptpress.com/beaver.htm

[fiona]

Mr. Nagaele: Nice to talk to you again. We are all evolving into better - or worse - human beings. Visit here often, stay a while, biscuits and coffee are on the table! Take two and butter em while they're hot!

[dicknaegele]

Thank you for the cordial welcome fiona. I will have my biscuit with a little peach preserves, a habit I have picked up living here in the south, and thank you for the coffee. Hot, black and bitter is the way I love it served. You make a great pot of Joe. I will grab a cup and settle in.

Thank you for the praise Dave, but I don't seem to be able to put myself in a writing frame of mind lately. I did enjoy my amateurish attempts that you were so kind as to post on the MS page. I love to write when the words flow, but I have much to learn about the craft, and have little patience right now with the other stresses in my life. My grammar and punctuation is not always proper, but when I do get into a writing mood, I love to just sit and let the thoughts flow out onto the screen and come alive. My mom and dad and the wonderful childhood and life that they provided me with, are my favorite memories to relate to others.

I will be content to read the stories of others, and enjoy the ongoing saga of OGH for now. Thanks again for the welcome.

I did purchase a laptop over the weekend, and while Kathy is in the hospital and rehab in May, I might find time and peace of mind and be able to work on a little writing while sitting at the bedside. I am sure that when they take out the two rods in her back, break loose the 5 vertebrae that were originally fused, carve them to restore the natural curve in her spine, and then install new rods to hold them while they re-fuse, she will be on enough pain medication that she will be sleeping most of the time for the first week or so. Please keep her in your prayers. At 70 years old, the fear of losing my soul mate is very real to me and I am worried sick.

[Dave]

Prayers for both you and Kathy, Dick.

[dicknaegele]

Thanks Dave. Appreciate the support and also your friendship.

[fiona]

prayers for you, Clipper.

[dicknaegele]

Thank you Fiona. I am sorry it took a week to see your post. I have been trying to wean myself away from the computer a little bit, plus summer is here in the South and outside work takes a precedence. It is nice to have friends that support and pray with you and for you. I love you all.