MonkInTheCellar Discussion

[Dave]

Well, for me writing is more than a pastime, I think. Although you're right, when it ceases to be fun it's time to try something else.

And I do value your input, as well as that from Dick and Fiona. And Jon, wherever the hell he is.

I've got a reading coming up in September at a local bistro and I may read the same stuff as last fall, since it went over well. But I'd like to try out some new stories, especially if I see familiar faces in the crowd who have heard the stories I read last year. I should put up a list of possible stories and see what you guys think, although reading them is different from hearing them.

I would say from my readings at the two writing groups I belong to that those recent stories that appeared to be the most enjoyed were Jump, Distraction, Power, Voices and Vengeance, although the latter is too long for a typical reading engagement and Jump is a bit heavy for most venues. And the re-written Trip To The Zoo went over well. Easter Bunny was an even split. Some in Woodstock were appalled at the violence. In Saugerties they thought it was funny, as I do. I haven't read Blood yet at Woodstock. At Saugerties, one woman said she felt physically sick from the topic, which was encouraging.

I haven't pursued the public reading circuit this year because of the throat-clearing problem I'm having. I'm not sure what the venue will be like down south. But I hear there are humans with a sense of humor everywhere.

As for Jesse, I had an idea last night which if I get time I will flesh out a little today. There are over 20 embedded stories in Jesse and I'm thinking taking just the posts that really mean something to the story, as well as the posts that flesh out Jesse, combing them with the embedded stories and moving some stuff around. The short version of that is that I'll remove the dross and probably move the Fermoy Shenanigans up on the time line so that the reader is clued in earlier. I like Izzy, Alfred and Maria and Julio and I'll keep them somehow. I'll take out the Mucky Run material, maybe keep Natalie for Terd, demote Terd's daughter to a really small mention and hopefully come up with a workable storyline.

You wrote: "The church has a term for the sharing of body & blood, is there a word for the sharing of thoughts, feelings & ideas?"

Yes, it's exactly the same word.

I even have a citation:

From the TheFreeDictionary:

communion [kəˈmjuːnjən]
n.
1. an exchange of thoughts, emotions, etc.
2. possession or sharing in common; participation
3. (foll by with) strong emotional or spiritual feelings (for) communion with nature
4. (Christianity / Ecclesiastical Terms) a religious group or denomination having a common body of beliefs, doctrines, and practices

[keith]

I'll have to make a note: Never Overlook the Obvious.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean any put down of your dedication to writing, more of a suggestion that if one project is stuck another might be mind clearing. I am impressed at the amount of good material you write.

[Dave]

Oh, no! I didn't take it that way. I read Power at the Woodstock writer's group this afternoon. Why did I think it would be funny to zealous conservationists? Hahahaha. It did get a few laughs.

[keith]

It can be tricky making points with humor. This form a person who has often stepped in it without trying. Perhaps a little easier in person because you can convey a lot with demeanor and inflection.

[Dave]

I've made some progress with the "book" version of Monk in the last couple of days. I don't call it a novel, because in my mind it doesn't follow that classic format. It was concieved as a blog and will always remain so, possibly best described as being like a diary or series of letters from your Cousin Harry.

I've added an intro that contains the hook of Jesse compiling this book from jail, where he's serving 2 to 5 for what crime we haven't yet been told.
The intro also serves to explain how the book came together.

I've greatly simplified Terd. He is no longer a priest (the priest in residence will be likable old Harpo) and he has no daughter who is in real estate, etc.
Terd is a sincere brother who leaves his vocation to pursue whatever is driving him and Jesse is disappointed and a bit jealous. Jesse thinks of Terd as a Brother and a brother. Terd's anger with Agnes is over the sale of the monastery.

There were too many women active in the story. Lots of women is good, but too many are confusing. Sara is now not the woman who requests printed wedding invitations (nor of course is she Terd's daughter.) That role is now filled by Linda, who briefly appears in the story in that role, a young woman planning for her marriage, and then quickly disappears, except as a focal point of Jesse's discontent.

Jesse's supposed Guardian Angel, Sally, will no longer be referred to sometimes as Aither. She will be Sally, as she appears to him in the forest.
But when a woman calling herself Sally Prendel shows up at the monastery as the real estate sales woman Agnes has been dealing with, Jesse will believe he recognizes her as his Sally. He may be right and their relationship will continue, the new Sally slipping into the post-fire character of Maria for a few scenes. Those scenes will be moved up before the fire, because the book will end soon after the fire. No more Mucky run.

Next, I want to move the revelation of St. Anne and M&M as a couple of villains up in the story much earlier than the fire.

After than I plan to take pieces I like from Mucky Run and rewrite them so they can be used as scenes on the mountain before the fire. The one that comes to mind readily is Blood. Not the original version, but the rewrite as it appears here on this forum and as it's now reposted on the blog.

[keith]

That's a lot for the readers to anticipate. I admire your ability to cut apart and sew together again so the seams don't show. For me, I tend to go over things so much before committing to paper that the ruts in my brain are too deep to climb.

(How's that fo a tailor / ox cart driving mixed metaphor?)

[Dave]

I like it. Or the ruts keep me from changing direction.

Which reminds me. Here's a question I've asked every scientifically minded person I've ever met since Big Al, a friend in graduate school who instead of the great career he could have had as a stand-up comedian eventually became a librarian.

Al told the story better than I can, so I'll just relate the facts. In college, he mounted two small canoes to the top of his car and took off down the road through the Adirondacks with a couple of friends. Coming down a hill his speed passed 80 mph and when he tried to steer the car around a turn in the road at the bottom of the hill, it wouldn't turn because the canoes did not want to turn sideways to the wind. Like a wind vane, they sought to remain oriented to the wind's direction.

Now that seems possible, and certainly some effect would take place. But I've always doubted it would keep him from turning. I told him it was probably the beer cans stuck between the steering wheel and the dash that stopped the steering wheel motion. In his story he did not get killed, of course, but managed to exert heroic muscular power to steer the car around the turn.

What do you think?

[keith]

I've driven cars with things on top although not a canoe. Depending on the shape of the object, I've noticed sensitivity to side winds but no steering problems. As you drive the apparent wind is from the front but that is because of the motion of the car not the air. As you turn the apparent wind would remain a headwind.

Wouldn't driving a box truck or even a van on the highway be the same problem?

[Dave]

I think Al believed the airfoil shape of the canoes was causing some sort of "lift" that kind of cemented them in a forward direction and prevented them from turning. But I explained to him that a canoe is not an airfoil ... at least not a standard airfoil shape that we're all familiar with, where the distance over the top surface is longer than the distance along the lower surface from leading to trailing edge.

I did at one time read (but have almost completely forgotten) that canoe design by the American Indians was quite clever and each aspect of the design of course had a purpose.

[Dave]

Yes, I went over the Rhinecliff Bridge across the Hudson one windy day in an Escort wagon with a Sears EsCargo atop and it was some fun! I'm not sure how high the road surface of that bridge is off the water, but it's a distance. Here's a photo of the bridge leaving shore and ascending into the clouds. (Actually, it's a fog bank. )

[keith]

After leaving it overnight and looking at it with fresh eyes, I think a better story would be plunging down towards the Hudson with a canoe strapped to the top of the Escort. As the air rushing over the hood is deflected up by the windshield into the canoe, a parachute effect unloads the weight from the front wheels making the car uncontrollable. Perhaps better replace the canoe with a light weight fiberglass replica of a French Voyager canoe. Then if the car turns turtle into the Hudson, a quick escape through the sunroof would allow you to paddle the assembly to shore.

Another incredible save by Indiana Griffin (Dave Mitty?).

Or the Escort is pressed into emergency service to transport a replacement gyro-stabilizer from Huntsville to the shuttle waiting at the Cape. Unfortunately in their haste the NASA technicians fail to properly latch the gyros. They come unlatched on I-4 east of Tampa and are spun up to speed by the force of the wind. The Escort becomes unstearable and fails to negotiate a turn entering the Orlando metro area rocketing towards the crowds waiting in line at Space Mountain ... continued next Saturday following the Red Ryder matinee.

[Dave]

Fantastic! Why have you been keeping your story telling career on hold!?!

Which gives me an idea. I think I'll start a story telling idea thread. For those story ideas that occur from out of the blue that for whatever reason we don't feel like writing ourselves. Anyone can take it and write a story if they will (hopefully) put a copy of their story up on our Creative thread here on the MoreStories Forum. Here goes, look for it.

[keith]

I don't think I've run across anything previously which compared sexual pleasure to meditation.



The Neurobiology of Bliss--Sacred and Profane

In studies that observe the brain in action, the right hemisphere seems to be the sexy hemisphere. It lights up during orgasm—so much so that, in one study, much of the cortex went dark, leaving the right prefrontal cortex as a bright island. New research suggests the right hemisphere is also hyperactive amongst the “hypersexual,” a symptom of brain injury loosely defined as groping, propositioning or masturbating in public without shame.

What is surprising about this is that pleasure is classically thought of as the province of the left hemisphere, not the right. The left is most active when recalling happy memories, meditating on love for another, and during the expansiveness of grandiosity or mania.

www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=the-neurobiology-of-bliss-sacred-and-profane

[Dave]

I'll read it when I get a chance. I have heard prayer compared to desire, sexual or otherwise, and I believe there is wisdom in that.

One of the reasons I chose "Heatwave" for the music for Brother Jesse's Easter message.
Here:

monkinthecellar.blogspot.com/2011/04/7-happy-easter.html

[Dave]

By the way, I've rewritten Blood once again, July 15, '11. I think it now says what I wanted it to say, though not perfectly and it's a bit choppy. I'm trying to keep it to a certain word count maximum and I'm losing the battle. That's OK, in the interest of clarity I'm going to have to add probably 150 to 200 words and hopefully it won't be as choppy then.

Keith: sorry I had to slip in front of your first post in that thread when I flubbed the insertion.